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In Yunnan, spring is an especially beautiful season. Many hillsides come

alive with camellia and peach blossoms. The mornings are still misty but the

cold wintry chill is gone. People sit out in the warm sunshine to chat. The rains

are still some weeks away and the farmers are happy to sit and chat with one

another. It was on one such spring day when my student told me about his

goats. He used to look after goats during the spring school vacation though he

was no longer a goatherd. If he had not mentioned his background, I would

never have guessed that this eloquent medical undergraduate sitting next to

me was once a goatherd. Goats used to dot the wilderness of highland Yunnan

years ago.

Wen smiled as he told me about a time in his boyhood days when it suddenly

became fashionable for every household in his village to have a little flock of

goats. The village got together and bought several hundred goats at a good

bargain price and soon there was much bleating in the air.

During the school holidays, he had to take his family's goats out to the

pasture. Later, some families found the returns from the goats not worth their

time and effort. After all, not everybody liked goats' milk. They were not like

those who lived up on the mountains who relished goat produce. The

lowlanders ate mutton only in winter as it was considered too "heaty" a meat

for warm summer days.

His Uncle Jin came over one day and declared that he was giving their little

flock to Wen. Uncle Jin's goats were added to his . He was now in charge of a

whole herd of some 30 goats. These were herded together in a small bamboo

stable. The bleating increased for a while as they competed for space but they

soon settled in for the night.

The flock looked well in the morning when he came to bring them out. But as

soon as he led them out of the gate he was in trouble. "One group went east

and the other went west!" His goats turned left and walked on. His uncle's

animals turned right and trotted the other way.

Devotion

Tan Lai Yong , MD

557 Pasir Ris St 51

Apt10-205

Singapore 510557

E-mail: t

anlylc@pacific.net.sg

Are the Goats Thirsty?

From his upcoming book "Waiting for

Growth. Devotions from Old Testament

Poetry"

Dr Tan Lai Yong is pictured, with his

family (right back)

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He recalled the trouble he had trying to bring the 2 flocks together. At night

they behaved as if they were one flock but in the day they showed that they

were not.

"We Christians are sometimes like the goats that I used to rear. On Sundays,

we all appear to be so obedient in church but on Mondays, we stray into our

own ways. I now know that the Lord has a hard time keeping us together in His

flock," he smiled as he made this analogy.

Wandering away from the God who loves us

Some time later, I read Psalm 107, which described how the people of God

wandered away from Him. This Psalm is a beautiful hymn that describes God's

steadfast love in the settings of a wandering and imprisoned humanity. It

seems like a ballad or a musical social commentary on the people's psyche.

After reading Psalms 107, I drew this chart in my journal to bring out the

patterns of wandering.

Notice that the 4 segments of this psalm are arranged in a somewhat box-like

pattern. There are 2 outward bound journeys and 2 inward imprisonments. The

2 outer segments are symbolic of the wanderings to the ends of the ancient

world and the 2 inner segments tell of being trapped within. All 4 describe the

pain of leaving the presence of the Lord.

Looking at the map of Israel, you will notice that on the west is the

Mediterranean Sea (or known in ancient times as the Great Sea) and on the

eastern side is the desert wilderness. In Psalm 107, the writer describes the

two divergent routes that people took. Some people just wandered away from

the Promised Land (implying that the people had wandered away from God).

They almost perished in the desert. Others went to the sea for adventure; for

business. They saw the wonders but they also came face to face with the

storms of life.

I paused and asked myself, "What makes me wander away from God's

Devotion

4-9

10-16

17-22

23-32

Journey out into

the desert

Trapped in chains

Trapped in

rebellion

Journey out into

the seas

They

Cried out

To The

Lord

He led them by a

straight way

He brought them

out of darkness

and gloom

He sent forth his

word and healed

them

He stilled the

storm

Let Them

Give

Thanks

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Devotion

promises? What adventures and dreams take me away and out of God's

presence?

After graduating from medical school, I had this idea that if I travelled far and

wide, I would find myself. Most of my close friends in church thought I was very

irresponsible for I had just started courting Lay Chin (we were from the same

church). I then volunteered to serve in a jungle camp in the Mekong area as

part of my national service for a year. After that, I took almost 6 months to

backpack through India, Pakistan, Turkey, the USA and Europe. Except for a

brief few weeks in the USA with Lay Chin - she was doing her post-graduate

studies in Michigan - I was alone most of the time. I hardly spoke to anyone

except to ask for directions as I backpacked around the globe.

One night, somewhere in the former Yugoslavia, a couple in their 70s sat in

the same coach. It was late in autumn and there were very few passengers on

that train. The old man, whom I figured to be a wise man for he had white hair

and looked very sober, came up to me and said, "Young man, are you

travelling alone?" I said, "Yes"

He then held his wife's hands and said, "Young man. You are never alone.

Your eyes tell me that you have someone who loves you very much." The

couple then went back to their seats.

That night, as I thought about Lay Chin and about our Lord Jesus Christ, I

knew it was time to go home. Nothing very dramatic. But the Lord found me. I

was reminded of the words in Psalms 103: 11-13:

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

When we wander and when the Lord speaks to our hearts and touches our

lives, let us do as the Psalmist records in verses 8, 15, 21, 31: "Let them thank

the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to mankind."

However we do not always have to leave home to get away from God. Psalm

107 is carefully and skillfully crafted. The Psalmist, in broad strokes, describes

the vastness of the world and how people walk into it. The 2 sections of people

on the move form the external framework. One group goes into the desert and

the other to the ocean. But, cocooned in the middle of the psalm are

descriptions of inward experiences. One group rebelled against God's word.

They broke some laws and ended up in prison. The next group did not break

any written laws but they broke their relationship with God because of sinful

ways. One group broke God's Laws. The other group broke faith.

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Devotion

One group spurned the counsel of God. The other endured afflictions because

of their iniquities. The former is sentenced to imprisonment and hard labour.

The latter punishes itself and draw near to the gates of hell. These groups

illustrate the 2 journeys of inward imprisonments and bondage.

I used to work as the doctor of the largest prison for drug addicts in

Singapore. These were what we called "hard core" addicts - most were in and

out of prison for 3 or more times. One day, I had to attend to a young convict -

a young man in his 20s - who had already been imprisoned on 4 previous

charges. He was in the sick bay suffering from heroin withdrawal. After a

couple of days, he got over the withdrawal, realized that he was in prison and

would be spending the next 4 years in this place. He went berserk, cried like a

mad man, sat in a corner near the toilet and became very quiet. Our staff

thought that he was more or less settled. Suddenly and to our horror, he took

handfuls of feces from the toilet bowl, smeared them on his own face and

began to stuff them into his mouth.

Sin can bring on punishment and unless we find forgiveness, we go on

punishing ourselves in terrible ways. I was pleasantly surprised to read the

words of a very much-admired man, ex-American President Jimmy Carter, on

forgiveness. He wrote, "forgiveness is a basic foundation of my faith. Without

the knowledge that I can be forgiven, it would not be possible to face my own

shortcomings frankly. Without forgiveness, I could not confess to a God whose

standards embody perfection, or learn how to forgive myself or others."

Paul knows this and so he argues vehemently when the Christians in Galatia

were falling back into legalism, "You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched

you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly exhibited as

crucified…. Formerly when you did not know God, you were enslaved to

beings that by nature are not gods. How can you want to be enslaved to them

again? …. For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not

submit again to the yoke of slavery." (from Galatians 3:1-5). Unable to find

forgiveness, the prisoner in the cell chose to shove feces into his mouth.

In Psalm 107, there are 2 outward journeys and 2 inward imprisonments.

The Psalmist uses these 4 metaphors to declare that God will redeem His

people from the ends of the earth and from the depths of sin and guilt. It is only

when I waited in silence that I realized I was so very prone to wander, and that

I frequently allow myself or place myself into bondage through sin and

unforgiveness. John Piper wrote, "God is most glorified in us when we are

most satisfied in him."

Returning and waiting for God who knows our needs

Coming back to my conversation with my student, I asked him, "How did you

get the two flocks to finally behave as one?"

Sin can

bring on

punishment

and unless

we find

forgiveness,

we go on

punishing

ourselves in

terrible ways

.

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Devotion

"Oh, eventually they had to become one because I was the only one who

looked after them. One of the important things to do is to find out what they

really need. When the goats were thirsty, they would readily go to the water.

When they were tired, they would be more willing to return to the stable.

Finding out their needs, I could get them to move with me with less difficulty.

But I had to know their needs."

Wen paused and added, "When I first heard about God who sent His only

begotten Son to die for us, I knew in my heart that this was true love because

he came alongside us, knowing our needs, died for us and made us one with

him. God knows that we are spiritually parched and thirsty. Jesus is the living

water. He knew that we are tired. Jesus calls the weary to rest in Him."

He went on to say that for him, a key point in evangelism is getting alongside

his classmates, knowing their needs and finally showing that Christ can meet

their deepest needs. "We all want to go our different ways, walk in our own

habitual manner but what we really need is to follow Christ. He is the Good

Shepherd."

Henri Nouwen wrote, "I am the prodigal son every time I search for

unconditional love where it cannot be found." He continues and writes about

the lostness of the elder son and the lostness of the younger son (from the

Parable of the Prodigal Son) - "Both needed the embrace of a forgiving father

… the hardest conversion to go through is the conversion of the one who

stayed at home". God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and

God abides in them (1 John 4; 16). Waiting on Him prevents me from

wandering needlessly or staying at home ungraciously. Waiting helps me be a

real part of His flock.

Photo of a Miao

goat-herder kindly

provided by Dr Tan

Lai Yong